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Hi. Lanky Kong here :lankykongflatsphericalrotation: Well, this is my last post. It all has to come to this. Tomorrow is the day of retribution, the day in which I will have my retribution against ape kind, against all of you. For the last eight years of my life, ever since I hit puberty I have been forced to endure an existence of loneliness and unfulfilled desires all because chimpettes have never been attracted to me. Girl chimps gave their affection and sex and love to other Kongs but never to me. I am 22 years old and still a virgin. I have never even been kissed by a chimp. I have been swinging through the jungle for two and a half years, more than that, and I am still a virgin. It has been very torturous. The jungle is the place where everyone experiences those things such as sex and fun and pleasure and eating bananas, but in those years I have had to rot in loneliness. It's not fair. You chimpettes have never been attracted to me. I don't know why you chimpettes aren't attracted to me, but I will punish you all for it. It is an injustice, a crime, because I don't know what you don't see in me. I am the perfect Kong, I have incredible style and grace, I have beautiful, long arms, and I can inflate myself like a balloon, but yet, you throw yourselves at all these obnoxious monkeys :diddykongdance:, instead of me the supreme gentleape. I will punish all of you for it. On the day of retribution, I am going to climb the tallest tree on the island and I will throw coconuts at every single spoiled, stuck-up pony-tailed blonde chimp slut :dixiekongwalking: I see up there. All those chimpettes that I have desired so much, they would have all rejected me and looked at me as an inferior Kong if I ever made a sexual advance towards them. While they throw themselves at these obnoxious brutes :donkeykonghanging:, I will take great pleasure in pelting all of you. You will finally see that I am in truth the superior one, the true alpha orangutan :lankykong:. Yes, after I have annoyed every single girl from the tree, I will inflate myself like a balloon and take to the skies of Isla DK and slap every single ape I see from there with my long arms. All those popular Kongs who live such lives of hedonistic pleasure :diddykongboombox::dixiekongguitar: while I have had to rot in loneliness for all of these years, they have all looked down upon me every time I have tried to go out and join them. Now I shall look down upon them. They have all treated me like a mere monkey, but now, I will be a Gigantopithecus compared to you. We are all animals, you are animals and I will slap you like animals. I will be the King Kong, exacting my retribution on all those who deserve it, and you do deserve it just for the crime of living better life than me. All you popular Kongs you have never accepted me and now you will pay for it. Girl chimps, all I have ever wanted was to love you and to be loved by you. I wanted a girlfriend, I've wanted sex, love, adoration, bananas but you think I am unworthy of it. That's a crime that can never be forgiven. If I can't have you, chimps, I will annoy you. You've denied me a happy life and in turn I will deny all of you a comfortable life. It is only fair. I hate all of you, apes are a disgusting retched, depraved species... uh, clade. Not species. Sorry. If I had it in my power I would stop at nothing to reduce every single one of you to mountains of bruised scalps and rivers of ape tears :donkeykongsad: and rightfully so. You deserve to be annoyed, and I will give that to you. You never showed me any mercy, so I will show you none. You forced me to suffer all my life and now I will make you all suffer. I have waited a long time for this, I will give you exactly what you deserve, all of you all you chimps who rejected me and looked down on me, treated me like scum while you gave yourselves to other apes. and all of you Kongs for living a better life than me. All of you sexually active Kongs, I hate you, I hate all of you. I can't wait to give you exactly what you deserve, utter humiliation :dixiekongsad:

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