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Every day from the second I wake up to when my ass hits the bed at night, I hold my farts in. Not to be polite, or adhere to social standards, but instead so I have a full magazine of ass juice loaded to release at moments notice. If it were me sitting there, I would have released the most blood curling, chair cracking, ass ripping, underwear staining, wet, church house creeper while staring her straight in the eyes. Then, while I see the horror on her face and never break eye contact, I would take a deep inhale through my nose to taste the satisfaction of victory as both of her lungs collapse.

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